Misc T

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Author: They Might Be Giants

Album title: _Misc. T_

"Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal"

I could never sleep my way to the top

'Cause my alarm clock always wakes me right up

And since my options had been whittled away

I struck a bargain with my radio DJ

I said I'd like this song to be number one

He said "I'd really like to help you my son"

And then I knew that I would have him to thank

Because he asked me how much I had in the bank

He said to think long term investment and

That all the others had forgiven themselves

He said the net reward would justify

The colossal mess they'd made of their lives

He said the record wouldn't have to be hot

And no one ever seemed to care if it's not

It would depend on something else that I've got

And that the other ones who'd given it a shot

Had seen a modest sum grow geometrically

And then they had forgiven themselves

Because the net reward had justified

The colossal mess they'd made of their lives

Hey Mr. DJ, I thought you said we had a deal

I thought you said, "You scratch my back and I'll scratch your record"

And I thought you said we had a deal

Well, I told you about the world (it's address)

I wonder when they're gonna clean up the mess

You know the rabid child is still tuning in

Chess piece face's patience must be wearing thin

Because they haven't played this song on the air

Not that anyone but me even cared

And the Disk Jockey has moved out of town

The district courthouse says he's nowhere to be found

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"Birds Fly"

Birds fly into my windshield

Thoughts fall from my thoughts

This good luck charm hanging off my arm

Was left here by the police

Words fall out of my pockets

And cats dance under my feet

This colorful spell under which I live

Protects me from all I write

And the microscope reveals the scope

Of my very best intentions

Yes, the tiny light shines twice as bright

On the only nice part of me

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"The World's Address"

I know you deceived me

Couldn't sleep last night

Now my tear stains on the wall

Reflect an ugly sight

I can see your secrets

No need to confess

Everyone looks naked when you know the world's address

The world's address

A place that's worn

A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess

I'll repeat for those who may not have already guessed

The world's address

Call the men of science and let them hear this song

Tell them Albert Einstein and Copernicus were wrong

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"Nightgown of the Sullen Moon"

Fell in the door

And you fell on the floor

With your hand on the knob

Looking up and abruptly

Forget what you're thinking

Fire alarms go off in your head

You live in the nightgown of the sullen moon

How the windows lean into the room

In the nightgown of the sullen moon

Drug trip, it's not a drug trip so you feel a bit insulted

Space walk, it's like a space walk with the corresponding weight loss

And you're nothing but air, with your hand in the air

And your shoelaces tied up together with care

There's a feeling of boredom

Of the big whoredom

Following dressing up in the nightgown of the sullen moon

Your head is on the moon

It's not necessary to breathe

Forever is a long time.

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"I'll Sink Manhattan"

I'll sink Manhattan

Right under the sea

I'll find the perfect spot to watch

As it slips away

You were so happy

With the things that you said

Like, "He's my lower half," you laughed

But you're going to cry

A river of tiny tears flow from your crocodile eyes

Too late to apologize, I say, as flood waters rise

I'll sink Manhattan

I'll sacrifice friends

I think they'd understand my plan

I'll never be sure

I've got a message

So before I get through

I'll find your answering machine

And I'll sink it first

Burn your forget-me-nots

Admit that true love can die

No, I won't apologize, my love, just kiss me goodbye

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"It's Not My Birthday"

Well the rain falls down without my help I'm afraid

And my lawn gets wet though I've withheld my consent

As this grey world crumbles like a cake

I'll be hanging from the hope

That I'll never see that recipe again

As I walk, I think about a new way to walk

As I think, I'm using up the time left to think

And this train keep rolling off the track

Trying to act like something else

Trying to go where it's been uninvited

It's not my birthday

It's not today

It's not my birthday, so why do you lunge out at me?

When the word comes down "Never more will be around"

Though I'll wish you were there, I was less than we could bear

And I'm not the only dust my mother raised

So, I'm rattling the bars around this drink tank

Discreetly I should pour through the keyhole or evaporate completely

But there'd be no percentage, and there'd be no proof

And the sound upon the roof is only water

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"Hello Radio"

Hello. Hello. Hello.

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"Mr. Klaw"

A claw is a claw and nobody has seen a talking claw

Unless that claw is the famous Mr. Klaw

Mr. Vanity Klaw

Mr. Lightning Bulb

Mr. Vanity Klaw

Mr. Dental Flaw

Mr. Vanity Klaw

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"Kiss Me, Son of God"

I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage

Called the blood of the exploited working class

But they've overcome their shyness

Now they're calling me "Your Highness"

And a world screams, "Kiss Me, Son of God"

I destroyed a bond of friendship

And respect between the only people left

Who'd even look me in the eye

Now I laugh and make a fortune

Off the same ones that I tortured

And a world screams, "Kiss Me, Son of God"

I look like Jesus, so they say

But Mr. Jesus is very far away

Now you're the only one here

Who can tell me if it's true

That you love me, and I love me

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"The Biggest One"

The water running down that pipe

Looks like a snake to me

By "Doc's Sugar Bowl" my coffee gets cold

Because I don't want to see that

I've got no one to blame but my fat self

I'm the biggest one

Should have changed the lock

Should have thrown away the key

No, no, not I, I will survive

Right down here on my knees

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"For Science"

Newscaster: There has been a spacecraft sighted

Flying high above the sky.

Sirens declare there's one among us from Venus!

Lt. Anne Moore: Volunteers! We need volunteers!

Soldiers to meet them.

Have no fear. You will be killed right away.

Male lead: I will date the girl from Venus.

Flowers die and so will I.

Yes, I will kiss the girl from Venus for science.

I'm so brave. I'm so brave. I'll be her love slave.

Lt. Anne Moore: He's so brave. He's so brave.

He'll be her love slave forever.

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"(She Was a) Hotel Detective"

She's got her ear to the walls

And she's tapping the calls

If you've got a secret, boy, forget about it

Because she's a hotel detective

Why don't you check her out

Well, the bellhop is funky

The dumbwaiter's a monkey

If there's a knock on the door, boy, forget about it

She says she likes my face

She says she owns the place

Forget about it

Come on and swing with me

>From the top of a tree

And make me feel like a bee

That's where I want to know you

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"The Famous Polka"

The famous person wears the same size water skis as me

She's got three cars, as many years I've lived in this city

Her hair is blond and mine is brown, they both start with a B

But when the phone inside her rib cage rings it's not for me

But when the phone inside her rib cage rings it's not for me

Hey

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"When it Rains it Snows"

There's a knock at the door that I adore

There's a face in the window, a smiling yellow face

There's a knock at the door

And if I were at home they'd find me there

There's a note on the door that I would see

And the furniture's barely been moved from where it was

There's a note on the door

And the note would say when it rains it snows

When it rains it snows, I wonder why

And now I know that when it rains it snows

There's a nut with a shotgun bang bang bang

There's a doctor, a waitress, a fireman with a hat

There's a nut with a gun

There's enough so they'll never know which one

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"We're the Replacements"

Hi, we're the Replacements

And we're playing in a rock'n'roll band

We're having a good time

Rock'n'rollin' 'til the break of dawn

Hey, where's Tommy? Someone find Tommy

We're out on the road

Moving equipment, where's the equipment

Soon we're going home

Then we'll have a party

Rock'n'rollin' 'til the break of dawn

Hi, we're the Replacements

And we're playing in a rock'n'roll band

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"Don't Let's Start"

Don't let's start

This is the worst part

Could believe for all the world

That you're my precious little girl

But don't let's start

I've got a weak heart

And I don't get around like you get around

When you are alone you are the cat, you are the phone

You are an animal

The words I'm singing now mean nothing more than meow to an animal

Wake up and smell the cat food in your bank account

But don't try to stop the tail that wags the hound

D, world destruction

Over an overture

N, do I need,

Apostrophe T, need this torture?

No one in the world ever gets what and that is beautiful

Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful

They want what they're not and I wish they would stop saying

Deputy dog dog a ding dong depadepa

I don't want to live in this world anymore

I don't want to live in this world